It's been busy around here with the holidays and kids out of school. I haven't had much time to think about the pregnancy during the day, besides on Christmas day when I had to let all my extended relatives know (mainly my grandparents) that I'm pregnant. I'm obviously showing and I didn't need people coming to their own conclusions. It seems the majority of my family thinks I'm crazy. I honestly think they don't understand why I'm doing what I'm doing, and because they don't understand it they don't want to talk about it. Honestly, I would rather people ask questions, then ignore that I'm pregnant. It's a huge thing in my life and I'm proud to do it, but it feels really lonely when people look at me like I'm a freak and then make pleasant fidgety conversation to distract from the fact that I'm doing something they can't fathom. Sometimes it's lonely being in a family that doesn't understand you. It's almost funny being the "black sheep" when I feel like I'm actually living my life's purpose and calling. I'm just trying to spread love and light and help people see that there are so many ways to give love and create family. I'm so thankful for my chosen family who supports this journey and truly looks me in the eye/looks into my heart while asking me how I'm doing, how the baby is doing. I want to talk about it. I want to feel like every place is a safe place to talk about this journey, but I'm finding, it's not.
In happier news, I felt the baby move for the first time last Sunday! Michelle was shouting at the television while watching football and I had just eaten a cookie and was knitting. First the little one jumped inside, and then I felt it continue dancing like it either really loves football or it had a bit of a sugar buzz from the cookie. Either way, it was so sweet and fun to feel that feeling again. A tiny little life. Growing. Dancing. Inside ME! I quickly sent Lisa and Brooks a text to let them know their baby is an active one. Since then, I've felt those fluttery movements periodically throughout the week.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
The Sound Of Galloping Horses
Lisa and Brooks just left this morning. Their visit was brief, but sweet. The first day they were here, I was at a birth from 7am-9:30pm. It was a wonderfully successful birth where baby was born healthy and mama was incredibly empowered. I love the feeling I come away with after these births. So much love and gratitude for life. As well as a deep sense of exhaustion after I've poured my physical, emotional, psychic and spiritual energy into a family to help them birth with ease (as much as possible). It's such a rewarding job though! I adore it. And I also loved coming home to Michelle and my dear friends.
Monday was a sweet day of ironing out details over a delicious breakfast at Old Town Cafe, and then heading to our first prenatal meeting with the midwife. It was so nice to sit down all together and feel like this whole plan is becoming such a reality and we're all working together is a cohesive, loving way. Catriona (the midwife who met with us) was so patient and willing to spend a little extra time (two hours) for our first visit since there are more of us involved and more questions to delve into. She couldn't find baby's heart beat on the first try and we were pretty disappointed, so an hour later before we headed out the door, I asked if she would check one more time. I didn't want them to travel from so far away to see and hear positive evidence that their baby was growing, and then go home without that special piece we were all looking so forward to. I'm glad I asked, because we heard a strong little heart beat in the high 130's range! Yay, baby!!! It was so thrilling to hear that and feel the joy in the room of all these parents who love this baby and are so excited to watch it grow. I am again in awe of the new way that I'm seeing pregnancy and birth and parenthood, through this process. What a gift for them and a gift for me in furthering my understanding and knowledge for my doula and someday midwifery practice. Catriona also changed my due date by bumping it farther out by two days based on my longer ovulation cycles. Which I don't mind at all! I'd much rather have a later due date and more time to cook this baby until he's ready, then an earlier due date and pressure to get him born sooner. So that mean that technically, Thursdays are the day the weeks turn for the pregnancy. That means I'll be 12 weeks on Thursday, not today...but whatever. There's a baby in there and it'll come when it comes. I won't be interfering with that.
Brooks took a picture of the three of us before they left. Here it is:
We're excited to grow you and eventually meet you little one!
Monday was a sweet day of ironing out details over a delicious breakfast at Old Town Cafe, and then heading to our first prenatal meeting with the midwife. It was so nice to sit down all together and feel like this whole plan is becoming such a reality and we're all working together is a cohesive, loving way. Catriona (the midwife who met with us) was so patient and willing to spend a little extra time (two hours) for our first visit since there are more of us involved and more questions to delve into. She couldn't find baby's heart beat on the first try and we were pretty disappointed, so an hour later before we headed out the door, I asked if she would check one more time. I didn't want them to travel from so far away to see and hear positive evidence that their baby was growing, and then go home without that special piece we were all looking so forward to. I'm glad I asked, because we heard a strong little heart beat in the high 130's range! Yay, baby!!! It was so thrilling to hear that and feel the joy in the room of all these parents who love this baby and are so excited to watch it grow. I am again in awe of the new way that I'm seeing pregnancy and birth and parenthood, through this process. What a gift for them and a gift for me in furthering my understanding and knowledge for my doula and someday midwifery practice. Catriona also changed my due date by bumping it farther out by two days based on my longer ovulation cycles. Which I don't mind at all! I'd much rather have a later due date and more time to cook this baby until he's ready, then an earlier due date and pressure to get him born sooner. So that mean that technically, Thursdays are the day the weeks turn for the pregnancy. That means I'll be 12 weeks on Thursday, not today...but whatever. There's a baby in there and it'll come when it comes. I won't be interfering with that.
Brooks took a picture of the three of us before they left. Here it is:
Sunday, December 9, 2012
I've Got A Bump
I realize that it has been almost a month since my last post. Rest assured I am healthy and as far as I can tell so is the little bean (Michelle's nickname for baby) aka chickpea (Brooks' nickname for baby). Life has just been incredibly busy for me and for a while I had nothing really to report on the subject. Honestly, I forget half of the time that I'm even pregnant because between my kids, being a good partner, and an amazingly full schedule with my doula business, I rarely have time to think about me or my body, or this little one using my energy to grow it's body. I've attended five births of varying lengths in three weeks, have had all those prenatal and postpartum visits to do as well as acquiring five new clients in that time frame and two more births coming up this month, not to mention the extensive notes I take during these births and then typing them all out (in layman's terms with lots of explanations) for my client's reading pleasure. Yep, I've been a busy pregnant lady and my first trimester is almost over! That flew by.
The nauseated feelings have mostly subsided in the past few days, and I've also gotten more sleep during that time too...so it could be related or it could be that I'll be 11 weeks along in two days and that whole "sickies ending at the 12th week mark" could be true. Here's to hoping! I also bought my first three pregnancy shirts last Sunday as my shirts have started getting shorter and riding up. My pants are also tight and I can no longer button them. I started wearing a rubber band through the loop and around the button on my favorite jeans. We'll see how long that lasts. The pregnancy support hose Lisa bought to help the circulation in my legs are awkward to get on, but feel quite supportive for a couple of hours (before they start slowly riding down my legs). I'm trying to wear them as often as possible, but usually don't wear them all day as I get tired of continually going into the bathroom to try to shimmy them up a make them stay, in vain. Here is a picture of me two days ago. I was out Christmas shopping and noticed my reflection in the bathroom mirror (I don't have a mirror this long at home) and was astonished at how much I am showing. I had to take a picture to send to the intended parents.
Lisa and Brooks have been very supportive, even if physically far away. I feel their love, admiration, and presence with me often. Lisa and I are in contact almost every day. She is working with her lawyer to get all the logistics figured out and have it sent to my lawyer once there is a cohesive contract written up. We also have figured out how I will be compensated if I can't work before or after the birth for a while due to pregnancy or birth complications. Just covering all the "what ifs". We are also trying to finalize the life insurance policy for me, another precaution. I have also joined a gym so that I can stay as fit as possible during pregnancy. My goal is to get at least a one hour cardio workout three to four times a week. It's been a little tough to fit in that many trips so far with my busy schedule, but I've started scheduling in gym time this week to see if that helps.
Next Monday will be our first midwife appointment. I'm so excited to have Lisa and Brooks here! The four of us, Michelle included, will be going to the appointment and hoping to hear the baby's heart rate for the first time. I know it will be an extra special moment for the expectant parents. I am still so happy I made the choice to help them become parents to this little important person.
The nauseated feelings have mostly subsided in the past few days, and I've also gotten more sleep during that time too...so it could be related or it could be that I'll be 11 weeks along in two days and that whole "sickies ending at the 12th week mark" could be true. Here's to hoping! I also bought my first three pregnancy shirts last Sunday as my shirts have started getting shorter and riding up. My pants are also tight and I can no longer button them. I started wearing a rubber band through the loop and around the button on my favorite jeans. We'll see how long that lasts. The pregnancy support hose Lisa bought to help the circulation in my legs are awkward to get on, but feel quite supportive for a couple of hours (before they start slowly riding down my legs). I'm trying to wear them as often as possible, but usually don't wear them all day as I get tired of continually going into the bathroom to try to shimmy them up a make them stay, in vain. Here is a picture of me two days ago. I was out Christmas shopping and noticed my reflection in the bathroom mirror (I don't have a mirror this long at home) and was astonished at how much I am showing. I had to take a picture to send to the intended parents.
Lisa and Brooks have been very supportive, even if physically far away. I feel their love, admiration, and presence with me often. Lisa and I are in contact almost every day. She is working with her lawyer to get all the logistics figured out and have it sent to my lawyer once there is a cohesive contract written up. We also have figured out how I will be compensated if I can't work before or after the birth for a while due to pregnancy or birth complications. Just covering all the "what ifs". We are also trying to finalize the life insurance policy for me, another precaution. I have also joined a gym so that I can stay as fit as possible during pregnancy. My goal is to get at least a one hour cardio workout three to four times a week. It's been a little tough to fit in that many trips so far with my busy schedule, but I've started scheduling in gym time this week to see if that helps.
Next Monday will be our first midwife appointment. I'm so excited to have Lisa and Brooks here! The four of us, Michelle included, will be going to the appointment and hoping to hear the baby's heart rate for the first time. I know it will be an extra special moment for the expectant parents. I am still so happy I made the choice to help them become parents to this little important person.
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